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Glyn Hupalo

What to Ask in Your Initial Consultation with a Therapist: A Guide to Finding the Right Fit

Updated: Jul 23


Old Man Choosing

Key Points


  • The initial consultation is to see if you and the therapist are a good fit, focusing on comfort and understanding.


  • Come prepared with questions about the therapist’s qualifications, experience, approach, and confidentiality practices to make an informed decision.


  • Be aware of session logistics, availability, fees, insurance, and emergency protocols, as these factors affect your therapy experience.


  • Reflect on your feelings about the therapist and the information provided to decide if they are the right match for you.


 

Contents

Door Opening

Introduction


Starting therapy can be a big step towards feeling better and growing as a person, but even the idea of attending your first consultation can sometimes feel a bit nerve-wracking–especially if you're new to therapy. Just as quickly as your nerves are calmed by taking the plunge and booking a consultation, a new wave of equally uncomfortable feelings can appear. “What’s going to happen during my consultation?”, “What am I supposed to say or do?”, and “How do I know if I should choose this therapist?” are common questions that might be swirling around your head now.


But fear not, if you’ve recently booked a consultation session and began feeling anxious about meeting someone new and sharing personal information, or not knowing what to say or do during this initial consultation read on. This guide is here to help you get ready for that all-important first chat, so you’ll know what to expect and what to ask.


Man with glasses understanding something

Understanding the Purpose of the Initial Consultation


Alright, so here’s the deal, the initial consultation is a little different from a regular therapy session. It's more of a get-to-know-you meeting where you and the therapist can see if you’re a good fit for each other. Think of it like a first date, but without the awkward silences and pressure to impress.

This session is all about figuring out if the therapist is someone you can feel comfortable with and understood by. If you don't click or feel at ease, it might not be the right match, and that's totally okay. The goal here is to find someone who gets you and can support you in the best way possible.


During this time, it’s helpful to share why you’re seeking therapy and what you hope to achieve, but keep it brief. You’re just outlining the problem, not diving into all the details. That comes later if you decide to work with the therapist. These consultations are usually no longer than 30 minutes, which isn’t enough time to give your entire history. If you focus too much on your backstory, you might miss out on understanding who your therapist is and how they can help, which can lead to issues down the line.


Preparing notes

Preparing Yourself for the Consultation


Getting ready for your initial consultation is all about knowing what you want out of it. I would encourage you to take a moment to reflect on your own preferences: Would you prefer to hear about the therapist’s approach in a speech they have prepared for you, or would you prefer to ask your own questions to learn specific things about them? Figuring this out can really help you get the most out of your time. But keep in mind that not all therapists will have a speech about themselves prepared, so to ensure you’re fully prepared for whatever comes up you might want to keep reading, even if you would prefer the therapist tell you about themselves.


No matter what preference you landed on, by coming prepared with a list of your own priorities and questions, you’ll feel more confident and in control. It’ll also help you get a better sense of whether the therapist is the right fit for you. Remember, this is your chance to see if they’re someone you can work with comfortably and effectively, so don’t hesitate to bring up whatever’s on your mind. If you still happen to feel a little nervous that’s totally normal, try to be kind to yourself and remind yourself that while you may feel this way you are as prepared as possible with your list of questions. Speaking of, let’s take a look at how to use this article best and the different types of questions you may wish to ask.


many doors to choose from

Choose Your Own Adventure – How to Use this Guide


If you’re like me, born in the 80’s, you might remember diving into your fair share of pick your own adventure books. If you aren’t familiar with pick your own adventure books, it’s important you know that they let you decide the story’s outcome by making choices at crucial points. Just like those stories where you decide which path to take next, in your consultation, you’re choosing what’s most important to learn about the therapist. Whether you’re curious about their approach, want to discuss specific concerns, or simply gauge their personality, it’s about finding the right fit for your journey. 


To make the most of your time, consider the questions below as different paths you can explore. While the list is extensive, remember you won’t have time for every question. To reduce the number of questions you have to choose from you could check out your therapist’s website as it could contain the answers to many of the more basic questions you may have. In addition, it may contain information that you may have questions about. 

Once you’ve narrowed your list, the final step is to pick a handful of questions that will provide the information most important to you. I’d highly recommend doing this at least a day before your consultation to reduce any last minute panic about not being prepared. 

At this point you may be thinking “how can I possibly remember all of my questions and the answers to them!” To which I would say write them down. There’s no reason you cannot show up and read off a list. Similarly, I would suggest writing the answers given to each question if you feel you may not remember them all. However, if you do choose to write the answers down I would just let your therapist know your plan, and try to summarise their answers as you run the risk of focusing too much on writing and not having any bandwidth left for listening.


Finally, after your session finishes, take some time to think about the information you’ve been given and how it sits with you. Like navigating a pick your own adventure book, it will guide you toward understanding if this therapist aligns with your needs. Trust your instincts, select wisely, and embark on the journey of finding the support that’s right for you.


people holding up questions

Key Questions to Consider Asking


I would like you to think of the following “key considerations” as the guiding stars on your journey to finding the right therapist. These questions help you gather essential information to make sure the therapist is a good match for your needs. I’ve tried to categorise them based on their common themes, so you can skip to the themes you think will be most relevant to you.


Therapist’s Qualifications and Experience:

“What are your qualifications and professional background?”

This helps you understand the therapist’s training and credentials.


“How long have you been practising?”

Experience can be an important factor in feeling confident about the therapist’s ability to help.


“Do you have experience working with clients who have similar issues to mine? If yes, can you explain how successful your work together was.”

It's beneficial to know if the therapist has dealt with concerns similar to yours.


Approach and Style:

“What is your therapeutic approach or philosophy?”

This gives you insight into how the therapist views and conducts therapy.


“Can you describe your style of therapy?”

Understanding their style helps you see if it aligns with what you’re looking for.


“How do you typically structure your sessions?”

This helps you know what to expect during your therapy sessions.


Specialisations:

“Do you specialise in any particular areas or types of therapy? If yes, could you please give me a brief explanation about this particular specialisation.”

Specialisations can indicate if the therapist has focused expertise in an area relevant to you.


Therapeutic Techniques:

“What types of therapeutic techniques do you use?”

Different techniques work for different issues, so it’s helpful to know their methods.


“Can you explain how these techniques can help with my specific issues?”

Understanding the relevance of these techniques to your concerns is crucial.


Goals and Expectations:

“How do you help clients set and achieve their therapy goals?”

Understanding this helps you see how the therapist can guide you towards your objectives.


“What should I expect in terms of progress and milestones?”

Knowing what progress looks like can keep you motivated and aware of your growth.


Client-Therapist Fit:

“How do you determine if you’re the right fit for a client?”

This question helps ensure that your needs and the therapist’s approach align.


“What happens if either of us feels that we’re not a good fit?”

It’s important to know the options if the therapeutic relationship doesn’t work out.


Confidentiality and Privacy:

“How do you ensure client confidentiality and privacy?”

Understanding privacy practices is crucial for feeling safe in therapy.


“Are there any circumstances under which you might need to break confidentiality?”

It’s important to know the limits of confidentiality to protect your privacy.


Complaints and Concerns:

“What is the process if I have a complaint or concern about something that happens in a session?”

Knowing there’s a procedure for complaints can give you confidence in addressing any issues.


“How do you handle situations where a client feels uncomfortable or believes something inappropriate has occurred?”

Understanding this helps you feel secure that your concerns will be taken seriously.


man holding question mark sign

Additional Considerations


While the above key questions help you understand the basics of working with a therapist, these additional considerations help to inform you about the finer details of your therapy journey. Answers to many of these questions can usually be found on your potential therapist's website, however, they have been included here in case your therapist does not have a website. They may not seem as essential at first glance, but they could play a crucial role in shaping your overall experience.


Session Logistics:

“What is the duration and frequency of your sessions?”

Understanding the logistics helps you plan and commit to the process.


“How do you handle client cancellations and rescheduling?”

Knowing the policy on cancellations helps avoid any misunderstandings later.


“How do you handle cancellations and rescheduling if you are unable to make a session?”

It’s important to know the protocol if your therapist has to cancel, ensuring you’re prepared for any changes.


“Do you offer in-person, online, or phone sessions?”

It’s important to know the available options for how sessions can be conducted.


Session Content:

“What should I prepare or bring to our sessions?”

Being prepared can help you get the most out of each session.


“How do you handle a situation if a client feels uncomfortable with a certain topic or technique?”

It’s reassuring to know there’s a plan if something makes you uneasy.


Availability:

“What is your current availability for new clients?”

Knowing their availability helps you plan your schedule accordingly.


“How flexible are you with scheduling sessions?”

Flexibility can be key to fitting therapy into your life.


Fees and Insurance:

“What are your fees per session?”

Knowing the cost upfront helps you plan financially.


“Do you accept insurance, and if so, which plans?”

Insurance coverage can significantly impact the affordability of therapy.


“Are there sliding scale options available?”

Sliding scale fees can make therapy more accessible if cost is a concern.


Emergency Situations:

“What is your protocol for handling emergencies or crisis situations?”

It’s crucial to know how they handle urgent issues.


“Are you available for emergency sessions outside of regular hours?”

Knowing if you can reach them in a crisis can provide peace of mind.


Termination Process:

“How do you handle the process of ending therapy?”

Understanding how therapy concludes can help you prepare for that phase.


“What signs indicate that a client is ready to conclude therapy?”

Knowing when you’re ready to finish therapy can help you feel confident in your progress.


light bulbs growing

Conclusion


If you’re still reading, congrats, you made it through the list and I promise I will keep this conclusion brief! I want to leave you with the important reminder that preparing for your initial consultation is all about setting yourself up for success. By coming in with a clear idea of what you want to ask, you’ll feel more confident and in control. Trust your instincts and choose a therapist who makes you feel comfortable and understood. Remember, finding the right fit can make a significant difference in your therapeutic journey. You deserve a therapist who truly gets you and supports your path to well-being.


And hey, don’t stress about tackling every question like it’s a final exam! It’s like a menu—pick what looks good to you. You don’t have to ask everything; just choose the questions that feel most important for your needs. So go ahead, take that first step, and find the support you need to thrive. You’ve got this!


 

If you’re curious about who’s behind this article, I'm Glyn, a mental health therapist who runs an online private practice called Feel Heal Grow. I write these guides to help people feel more comfortable and confident reaching out for the help they need. If you’d like to learn more about me or the services I offer, feel free to explore the rest of my website. I’m here to support you on your journey to better mental health.

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